


Ovadia & Sons

by falconeggs



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Banter, David’s Wardrobe, Fluff, M/M, Mild Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-16 07:34:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17545412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falconeggs/pseuds/falconeggs
Summary: David gets pressured by Alexis and wears a suit to work.





	Ovadia & Sons

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t completely know why I wrote this? I was mostly thinking about David in an outfit that was The Most for work, only to make myself laugh at some pretty lame jokes. Almost immediately after I finished writing it, Dan released a video talking about the wardrobe on the show, so I might be psychic. I wrote this in a day and barely edited it, so forgive me for any errors. On a complete side note, I’ve been writing a Practical Magic AU for anyone who might be interested. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!

David steps out of the bathroom, almost ready for work. He’s on time for once, maybe even early; he might even have time to stop by the cafe to get coffees for he and Patrick. Alexis hasn’t even climbed out of bed yet to select her outfit for the morning. She’s still sitting under the covers in her silk pajamas, scrolling through her phone.

As David collects his things into his bag, he can feel his sister’s eyes on him. He turns, and finds her staring at him. Her eyes are trained on him, with her phone face down in her lap. It unnerves him.

“What?” He says, sharply. He expects her to comment on his cologne strength, or the new pomade he’s testing out.

“I’ve seen you in that sweater before,” she tells him. 

David looks down at his outfit. Of course she’s seen him in that sweater before; it’s one of his favorites, and they’ve been sharing a bedroom for almost four years. The sweater is an Alexander McQueen, and Patrick has said that he likes it. “So?” He says, going back to what he was doing.

“Like, I’ve seen you in it recently,” she continues.

“What’s your point?”

“Nothing, I just remember when you used to be more daring with your outfits,” she goads him.

He frowns at her. “I don’t have time for this,” he mutters.

“Time for what?” Alexis asks, feigning innocence with a delicate hand over her heart. “Your only sister’s concern for your mental health? The David I know would never wear the same sweater twice in one season.” She leans forward, like she’s going to tell him a secret. “Be honest, David. Are you depressed?”

David pulls a sarcastic smile onto his face as he zips up his bag. “Alexis? I’m going to ask you to go, get in the car, drive to the nearest desert, and sit on a fucking cactus.” He roughly grabs his bag, going for the door. It creaks as it opens. He stares at her from the doorway, sneering slightly, chin tilted up. “Fine. But it’s not for you.” He snaps his head around and slams the door behind him as he exits.

Alexis grins to herself, wiggling back into her comfortable position. She sends a quick, cryptic text to Patrick, telling him that David would be late. When he sends her back three question marks, she sends back a mermaid emoji, then goes back to her Instagram feed. He should already know what’s happening, anyway. He was there for her and Stevie’s plan.

Meanwhile, David swings into the motel office.

“Good morning,” he greets Stevie, approaching her desk. “I need the key to the room with all of my clothes in it.”

Stevie gets this mildly amused look on her face, but turns and gets the key hanging on the wall behind her. “But this outfit is tried and true,” she jabs, and David frowns at her. He’s realizing that she and Alexis must have had a conversation before this, and no good can come of that. “Uh, if you’re looking for your shirt with the teal and peach-y flowers on it, I borrowed it. I’ll bring it back, I swear.”

“The Balenciaga?” he asks, blinking rapidly. That’s a very nice, very expensive shirt. He’s never worn it, but Stevie has. He gets past that quickly. “That’s fine. Just make sure it goes back in the right place.” Stevie nods somberly, but David knows she’s making fun of him. “Why’d you borrow it? And why didn’t I see you in it?” 

Stevie fights a grin off her face, and David doesn’t need to be told more than that. She must have gone on a nice date with Emir and wanted to impress him. He smiles at her and leans in. “So how is that going?”

Stevie blinks at him. “He’s pregnant with my baby,” she deadpans. “We’re going to Elmdale to elope this weekend.” 

“It’s going well, then,” he says, knowing she’s about as good at expressing herself as David is. He smiles at her and gestures over her face. “I like this for you. This is nice.”

Stevie rolls her eyes, but David can see the corners of her mouth quirk up. “Don’t you have an outfit to put on?” She asks him.

David smirks at her as he backs away from the desk. “I will not be showing you the outfit,” he says, pointedly, because she didn’t even send him a selfie of her wearing his shirt.

“Good,” she says with a nod, right before he closes the door behind him.

David checks the time as he walks down the row of doors. If he takes less than fifteen minutes to get dressed, then he’ll still be early for work. However, David has never in his life taken only fifteen minutes to get dressed, even when he has already picked out his outfit.

He unlocks the door to the room and drops his bag on the bed. He goes straight for the closet, swinging the door open to look at all of his beautiful clothes crammed into the small space. He’s missed them. He hasn’t worn most of these pieces in years, if ever. “You deserve better than this,” he whispers to them, his fingers brushing over some of his more eccentric items.

David carefully gives himself a few options. He knows that Alexis is hoping for something more avant-garde, and he entertains the idea with a stunning Gaultier he hasn’t worn since his art gallery opening in 2013, but decides against it. It’s heavy, and committing to all of that while he has a business to run isn’t something he’s interested in today. He also sets aside a bright red jumpsuit and a Balmain jacket with extensive stone and bead work, but David can’t bring himself to wear that much red. Why did he even buy that jumpsuit, anyway?

David settles on an Ovadia & Sons suit he’s never worn. The fabric is soft on his fingers, patterned with big, white feathers. When he got it, he had it tailored to his body, so it’s fit is absolute perfection. He pairs it with a Saint Laurent button down that fits him just as well, and gold trimmed shoes. He debates going back to the room for a necklace, but he doesn’t want to give Alexis the satisfaction of both seeing his outfit in person, and commenting on his accessory choices.

When he looks in the mirror, he expects to see the old David Rose. But the man looking back at him is far from the old David. He looks happy, his eyes bright and his aura soft. Maybe his cheeks are slightly rounder from all of the chicken tenders from the cafe, and his haircut isn’t quite as precise because the only barber in town is in his late sixties, but he still looks good. He looks fucking great, actually, the best he’s looked in a long time. David spends probably too much time checking himself out in the mirror. Finally, he nods to himself, then puts his other options back very carefully. 

He snaps a picture of himself in the mirror to send to Alexis, his middle finger extended to the camera, then is on his way out the door, bag in hand. As he walks, he sends the picture off to his sister, a hundred feet away in their bedroom, writing, ‘Call me when you get back from the Mojave Desert, you horrible harridan’. Before he even makes it down the gravel driveway, he receives a long string of clapping and explosion emojis from her. A few seconds later, she texts him ‘wtf is a harridan?’ He doesn’t text her back for the rest of the day.

The walk into town gets shorter and shorter each time David takes it. It feels especially short today, because he’s hoping to receive compliments at every turn, but receives exactly none. The townspeople of Schitt’s Creek could never understand or appreciate his fashion prowess. He has no idea why his mother is this over-the-top every single day.

It isn’t until David gets to the store that he is finally given his first compliment, because, of course, Patrick is already there, waiting for him. Patrick looks up from his inventory sheet and grins at David when he walks in. “Wow,” He breathes, standing up a little straighter. “I didn’t know inventory day was so formal. You look amazing.”

David smiles, rounding the desk to stand beside Patrick. “Thank you,” he says, absorbing the compliment. His bag is dropped behind the curtain; he’ll trip over it later. He leans in and pecks Patrick’s lips gently to greet him. “Alexis challenged me.”

“I know,” Patrick explains, wrapping a careful arm around David’s middle. “She texted me.”

David frowns, huffing softly. “Of course she did,” he complains.

“Yeah, she and Stevie were wondering what, exactly, it would take to get you to dress up for no reason,” Patrick grins. “You know, Moira Rose style. Apparently it wasn’t much.” 

David stares at Patrick in surprise. He has sort of assumed this, but Patrick being involved catches him off guard. “You plotted with Stevie and Alexis to get me to wear my Ovadia & Sons suit to work?” He gawks. “You could have just asked.”

Patrick gets this adorable, bemused look on his face he only seems to get when David is talking. He’d be offended if he didn’t think it was so sweet. “I was present for the conversation, but I took no part in the actual plotting,” he explains himself. “But if I knew you looked this good in a suit, I would have been more involved in the plot.”

David is tempted to roll his eyes, but it’s the only compliment he’s gotten so far, and he really likes the way Patrick’s words make him feel. “I aim to please,” David murmurs as humbly as he can manage.

“Yes, you do,” Patrick comments, smirking as he leans in to kiss David again. David’s snarky comment gets lost in Patrick’s kiss, as he falls into it easily. “I’ve never heard of Ovadia & Sons,” Patrick confesses against David’s lips. David jerks his head back to stare at him in disbelief. “I shouldn’t have told you that.”

“I would have figured it out eventually,” David says, truly realizing for the first time that his boyfriend probably exclusively shops at the department store for his clothes. David has never been inside a department store. “Actually, I should have known better. If this is going to work, I think you’ll be needing a crash course.” 

Patrick’s brows lift. “Oh, will I?” He asks, rhetorically, but David nods, anyway. “Okay. Well, then, I think you’ll be needing a crash course on hockey.”

David stiffens, then makes a face that shows he’s trying to be supportive, but has been made physically ill by that suggestion. It only makes Patrick’s grin grow. “Yes,” He says, almost robotically. “We could do that. But I already know so much about hockey.”

“Do you?” Patrick teases, feigning surprise. “Wow, I had no idea you were a hockey fan.”

“Mm!” David nods, his eyes squeezing shut. “Huge. I love how they just- beat the shit out of each other. And wear knives on their feet. Very masc. Definitely up my alley.” 

“Who’s your favorite team?” Patrick asks, conversationally, knowing that David doesn’t actually have any fucking clue about hockey.

“The Ice... Dudes,” David lies, and Patrick’s smirk only grows.

“The Ice Dudes,” Patrick nods along. “Yeah, they’ve got a killer team.”

David nods, his grin breaking through. “Mhmm,” he agrees. “They have the least teeth, collectively, in the league.”

Patrick laughs and leans in to kiss David softly. It warms David down to his toes, in the shoes that cost as much as their inventory. “I don’t need to know anything about fashion to appreciate how good you look in this suit,” Patrick promises, his voice melting David like a popsicle.

David accepts Patrick’s kiss, wrapping his arms around Patrick’s shoulders to press their bodies as close together as he can. Patrick pulls him the rest of the way in, his hands sliding up under David’s suit jacket to roam over his back. When Patrick’s tongue teases at his lips, David lets out the softest whine, then pulls back. Patrick chases after his lips, and that sight makes David’s heart throb.

“As much as I would love to make out with you all day,” David says, his voice quiet and low, “I put a lot of effort into this outfit, and if you’re going to fuck it up, I’d prefer it be at the end of the day? Because, this jacket alone was two thousand dollars, so. Let’s try not to fuck it up.” 

Patrick pulls his hands away and jerks backwards, staring wide-eyed at David’s jacket. He keeps his hands extended out as he stares at David. “Oh my god,” Patrick breathes, gaping at David like he’s an alien. David nods, because he feels like an alien, sometimes. “Your jacket is worth two months of my rent.”

“Mhmm,” David confirms. “Now you understand my closet space issue and why I could never live in your apartment. I couldn’t possibly store my pieces in there.” 

“You have other clothes that cost as much as this?” Patrick asks, not fathoming buying clothing so expensive. 

“More,” he says, emphatically. “These shoes cost more!” Patrick’s eyes fall down to the shoes, and he just gapes at them. Normally, David would like the attention, but he feels slightly strained.

There’s a long moment of silence between them. As the moment lingers, with Patrick’s eyes trained to his shoes, David is afraid that this would make them too different. Maybe this would be the final straw for Patrick. It starts to slip away when Patrick finally meets his eyes, because Patrick’s adoration for David is shining in their gaze. “You paid more for this outfit than all of the Ice Dudes got paid this season,” Patrick teases him, his voice so affectionate.

David smiles at him, stepping back into Patrick’s space. “I did,” he confirms, softly.He wraps his arms back around Patrick’s shoulders. 

“You’re the most ridiculous person I’ve ever met,” Patrick tells him, and kisses him, because it’s his favorite thing about David. “I get why you don’t want people touching you now.”

David nods rapidly. It’s equal parts his affection issues and his wardrobe worth, both of which Patrick has been learning about in ways he most likely hadn’t expected to. “Luckily, you’re a very clean man, so I’ll allow you to touch me,” David teases him. “I actually encourage it.” 

Patrick grins at David, shaking his head affectionately. “Thank you, David, that’s very generous of you,” he says, then kisses him once more for good measure. “Now, would you mind going into the back and seeing how many hydrating foil masks we have left?” Patrick knows that inventory is David’s least favorite task, which is why he’s so vigilant when it comes to staying on task.

David, still in a daze from Patrick’s kiss, is agreeable, nodding at his boyfriend’s request. “I can do that,” he says. He kisses Patrick one more time before detaching from his side.He pushes back the curtain, and trips over his bag. The suit seems to make it funnier to Patrick.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
